Witchy Woman
by Tankspridd
Summary: Set between "Changing Channels" and "The Real Ghostbusters", the Winchesters and Cas hunt down a witch with special ties to Lucifer himself. But when something goes wrong, the boys are left with a very sexy problem.
1. AUTHOR NOTE

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This is my first multi-part SPN fic.**

**A few things you guys should know before we get started, eh?**

**First – This has some Dean and Cas moments.**

**Second – Kripke owns Bobby, Cas and the Winchester brothers, but the four new faces are all my own.**

**Third – Beware some sexual situations (nothing intense, I'm actually quite bashful at writing blow-by-blow sexytimes…)**

**Fourth - If you want to see the new faces, there are links to how I feel they should look (for the most part) in my profile...**


	2. The DeBell Witch Hunt

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…**

**SPN Crack:**

**Pairing: **Dean/Castiel

**Rating: **PG-13

**Setting: **In between 5.08 ("Changing Channels") and 5.09 ("The Real Ghostbusters")

The Winchester brothers pulled up to the DeBell house, site of their latest case. The research pointed to it being a very power witch with ties to Lucifer and Lilith. The boys hoped that this witch could lead them to the Devil and, perhaps, they could find a way to destroy him once and for all.

The gentle roar of the engine and the speakers blaring Blue Öyster Cult shattered the night's silence. Dean drummed the heels of his palms against the steering wheel as the Impala slowly rolled up along the back of the turn-of-the-century mansion.

"_I love the night…_

_The day is okay_

_And the sun can be fun_

_But I live to see those rays slip away."_

Sam rolled his eyes, ejecting the tape and throwing it in the backseat. "Come on."

Dean's only reply was to grab his pistol from under the front seat and smile to himself, as he racked the slide, "Hell yeah, let's gank this bitch!"

The duo stalked up to the house, up the back steps. Sam took a deep breath and busted down the door with a swift kick of his long leg.

His older brother could only give up an impressed thumbs-up as they slunk into the blackness of DeBell kitchen.

Dean gave Sam the signal to proceed into the dilapidated, century-old house. Both men had their guns drawn – Dean's custom-engraved M1911 at the ready and Sam's trusty PT-92 covering them from behind.

The taller brother gestured to a door about halfway down the hall that had been left ajar and they silently made their way, back-to-back, towards the room. They stopped just outside the room, waiting on either side of the door. Dean rested his head against the doorframe, breathing heavily.

Sam counted off on his fingers and gave the signal. They burst through the door in unison – their guns aimed into the room.

Dean dropped his arm when he saw the only person in the room was the Angel Castiel. "Dammit, Cas. We could've shot you."

Castiel raised his eyebrow. His voice remained very calm – despite the fact that, not ten seconds earlier, he had had two pistols aimed at his chest, "You shot me that night in the barn."

The elder Winchester's hands fell to his sides, defeated, and he shook his head. "That's not the - Never mind. Just – Would you mind telling us what you're doing here?"

The Angel shrugged his shoulders, "I came to see if you needed help."

Sam broke up the stilted conversation from the doorway, his gun motioning towards the dark hallway, "Guys – I know you wanna have your Dr. Phil touchy-feely moment, but we've got a very powerful witch to find."

The hunter and the Angel nodded and followed Sam out of the room, towards the back of the house – with Castiel sandwiched between the two armed Winchesters.

Sam whispered and gestured towards the stairs on the other side of the parlor, "The den."

Dean nodded and took the lead, starting down the steps. But Castiel stopped him, gripping his shoulder and holding him back.

The elder Winchester turned back to the Angel, his head tilted.

But the warrior of Heaven stepped in front of him and made his way down the steps.

Sam grabbed Dean's arm, pulling him back, "Wait. Dean, he's an Angel – I'm sure he can handle a witch…"

This was met with a rough jerk as the shorter hunter liberated himself from his brother's bear-like grasp and ran down the stairs, taking them two steps at a time.

"Dean! Wait!" he hissed, trying to keep his voice low, even though he knew that even a deaf person would hear two 200-lb men running down century-old wooden steps.

They reached the bottom of the stairs just in time to see Castiel circling the den. But the Angel was not alone – a petite woman with wavy blond hair stood in the middle of the dark room, a wicked smile on her face.

Sam recognized this woman as Karen Garnet, a thirty-something housewife that the brothers had interviewed earlier that afternoon. He mentally kicked himself for not realizing that there was more to the pixie-ish woman that a high voice and wholesome looks.

Karen smirked, watching as Castiel stalked around her. She closed her eyes, her voice deepening as she began an invocation, "_Baali, tuchal la'azor li?_"

Dean leaned in close to Sam and whispered, "What the Hell is going on?"

The giant hunter shrugged, hissing back, "How am I supposed to know? …I don't even know what language this is."

Castiel's gravelly voice replied to 'Karen' – because, really, who knows if that's really her name? – "_Rasheh!_"

She opened her eyes, revealing an ethereal glow that neither Winchester boy had ever witnessed on any of their previous hunts, "_Chaval al hazman. Gam zu letovah, achi._"

The dark-haired Angel continued to pace in front of her, stalking back and forth like a lion before the kill. But when he heard her words, he snapped angrily, growling, "_Atah lo tzodek!_"

She cocked her head, giggling, "_Ma hashem shelcha, ha-qodesh?_" She reached out to caress the lapels of his trench-coat.

He pulled away from her, baring his teeth like a cornered animal, "_Shmi Castiel. Ma hashem shelcha, Lilin?_"

She looked over her shoulder. Even though it was almost pitch-black, Dean knew their eyes connected from across the den. She winked at him, "_Baal midot tovot. Ein somchin al haness._"

Dean tilted his head, clearing the chambered round and turning on the safety of his pistol before slipping it into the waistband of his jeans, "Listen, sister, I-"

She waved, like a child – wriggling all her fingers independently of each other, "_Shalom._"

Turning her attentions back to the trench-coated Angel, she stepped closer to him in an attempt to corner him, "_Lehitra'ot… Castiel._"

He opened his mouth to stop the small woman but she shoved her palms up against his chest and bellowed, "_Histalek!_"

Sam and Dean stared, dumbfounded, as a white light emanated from her hands and filled the den – like a supernova, blinding all the inhabitants of the room.

When the bright light dissipated, the Winchester brothers found themselves staring at an almost-empty room. Dean ran over to the body that was sprawled out on the floor.

He looked up at Sam. "It's … a girl."

Sam tilted his head, looking like a confused Labrador puppy, "What?"

The body on the floor was definitely a woman – but it sure as Hell did not look like Karen Garnet. This woman was taller than Karen Garnet, almost as tall as Dean, with long wavy dark hair. She seemed oddly familiar, wearing a man's navy blue suit and a baggy tan trench-coat.

Dean put his hands on her arm and shook gently. "Hey. Hey."

She opened her eyes and the hunter gasped. Those blue eyes. "Dean?" she asked – though her voice was softer, it was still deep and sexy.

"Cas? Castiel, is that you?"

She sat up, stiff and awkward, and looked around, "I – I believe so." Her hands trailed down the white Oxford shirt that covered her chest, over her new breasts, and tilted her head, "Oh, um, it appears that the witch hexed my vessel."

The hunter looked at her, his face betraying the disbelief, "How can I be sure this isn't a trick? How can I be sure you aren't some kinda demon?"

Her lip twitched in that almost-smile that he had seen on Jimmy Novak's face less than a handful of times in the year they had known each other, "I'm an Angel of the Lord, not a demon."

He was still suspicious and he muttered "Cristo" under his breath, hoping that it would tell him if this was truly Castiel in a feminine form.

When nothing happened, he was sure that this was no demon in his midst. Then he decided it would be best to take Castiel to their room, where they could figure things out.

Dean held out his hand, helping her to her feet, "Come on, ba- Cas. Let's, um, let's get you back to the motel. We'll get you cleaned up and get research going on a cure for this."

**A/N: Listen up, readers. Firstly, I would like to apologize for any errors in my Hebrew - I googled it. Secondly, you're probably expecting some translations here so that you know what the heck that was all about. But please, bear with me. If I gave you translations, it might ruin surprises I have planned for later. Just trust me - the Winchester boys don't know what Cas and the witch were talking about, but they're gonna research the Hell out of it as the story progresses. I promise that, by the time the story is over, you will know what that conversation pertained to - but just work with me okay? Thanks!**


	3. Led Zeppelin shirts & orange briefs?

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…**

**SPN Crack:**

**Pairing: **Dean/Castiel

**Rating: **PG-13

**Setting: **In between 5.08 ("Changing Channels") and 5.09 ("The Real Ghostbusters")

Sam watched, shocked, as his brother helped newly-female Castiel out to the Impala. Dean was practically carrying the undeniably beautiful Angel out of the DeBell house.

The hexed Angel frowned, definitely not pleased at being treated like an invalid, "Dean. I'm a woman, not a child. I can walk on my own."

The taller Winchester pulled his idiot brother off of the Angel and threw him in the front seat of the Impala, "Dean. Seriously… ease up, I think you're scaring Cas."

He shook his head, "Sorry, Sam. I just, I got a little outta control. Come on, let's get him – _let's get her_ back to the motel room. Call Bobby and let him know what's up."

The brothers slid into the front seats and Dean gunned it, speeding down the road while Sam dialed Bobby's cellphone number.

"Yeah?" The voice that came through Sam's phone sounded every bit as jolly and chipper as Bobby Singer always sounded – which was actually not very jolly or chipper at all.

The younger Winchester stammered into the receiver, "Hey Bobby – we have a bit of a situation. Witch hunt near Oskaloosa. Something's up with Castiel's vessel."

The old man grumbled, "You three can't seem to go more'n a day or two before you screw somethin' up, can you?"

Sam closed his eyes, waiting for the outburst. But it never came.

Bobby just huffed into the phone. "Oskaloosa? I should be able to make it there in a few hours. I trust you can manage to not kill anyone until I get there?"

The three pulled into a sleazy little motel just outside Oskaloosa – called the Blue Belle Suites.

Despite reassurances that they were brothers and that Castiel was their cousin, the middle-aged owner gave them some extremely dirty looks for booking one room with two queen beds for two grown men and an unusually dressed woman.

Dean groaned, pulling the Angel by her arm as they made their way to the room.

Sam grumbled, "I told you that we shoulda got two rooms! I mean, they probably think we're some psycho weirdos who have crazy threeways or something."

Castiel's eyes widened and she stared at the Winchesters, her eyes darting fearfully between them. "Dean…"

The elder hunter's entire body seemed to spasm in protest, "What? Dude! No way! Ew – I can't believe you just said that…" He muttered under his breath, "I'd never have a threeway with you, Sasquatch."

Sam pulled out his laptop the moment they were settled into the room, making himself at home at the small bedside table. He began scouring the internet for anything about the spell that the witch had used in the DeBell house.

"Hey, Cas, do you remember any of that spell? Or at least the language? I mean – you and the witch were having quite the chat before she zapped you."

The Angel hung her head, "No."

But the researching hunter persisted. "Anything? Anything at all?"

Dean snapped, throwing a wadded up paper at his brother's forehead from across the room, "Come on, Sammy. Poor guy – girl? – Cas can't remember, okay?"

This was met with a raised eyebrow and Sam Winchester's trademarked look of disapproval.

Castiel made a soft grunt noise and both the hunters turned to see the girl standing with Jimmy Novak's trousers pooled around her ankles. "This body doesn't fit Jimmy's clothes."

Being the hot-blooded male that he was, Dean could not stop himself from admiring the smooth thighs that Castiel's more feminine body was blessed with. This gawking only earned him an elbow to the ribs from Sam.

"Dean, get the Angel some clothes."

He nodded, blinking as he realized he was checking out an Angel of the Lord, "Oh. Yeah. Right."

Pulling his duffel up onto the bed, he started rummaging through it and pulled out one of his favorite Led Zeppelin shirts – one that had become a little snug after all these years of pie – and held it out for the Angel. He looked up to find Castiel sitting on the edge of the bed, unbuttoning Jimmy's shirt.

Grabbing her hand to stop her from exposing anymore skin, Dean handed the well-worn Led Zeppelin tee to the half-naked warrior of Heaven.

"Here, Cas. You can borrow this and then just wear Jimmy's, um, underwear underneath. Go to the bathroom and change in there, why don't you…"

She nodded obediently, taking the black tee and shuffling into the bathroom.

The moment the door clicked shut, Sam shut his laptop. "Dean."

His brother, who had been watching the bathroom door with all the interest of a ravenous piranha, turned back to him, "Yeah?"

The younger man smirked, "So, when were you gonna tell me you have a crush on Cas?"

Dean's reaction was exactly what Sam expected.

"What? No. It's Cas, man… he's a guy."

Sam smirked, "_No_. Right now, Castiel is a very attractive woman. Seriously, I've seen you drooling. You are definitely not as smooth as you think."

Dean huffed and opened his mouth to retaliate with some gay joke when the bathroom door opened and Castiel appeared in the doorway.

"God damn."

That Zeppelin tee hugged her in all the right places – tight at the bust and ghosting over the curves of her waist, before it ended at the navel.

"Dean?"

He shook himself free of the daydream and smiled innocently, "Yeah?"

Castiel sashayed over to the bed and she said, "You're staring…"

Sam laughed, patting Dean hard on the back – the sound of the contact resonating through their motel with a thud, "Yeah – don't drool all over yourself."

The older Winchester grumbled, "I gotta hit the head."

He heard his brother howling with laughter. "Oh man, Dean! What are you, a 13 year old?"

_This was going to be the longest job._

Sam's knuckles rapped against the bathroom door, "Hey, D. I'm gonna go check out the library, see if I can't figure something out before Bobby gets here. I'm leaving you with your new girlfriend, okay?" His voice fell to a whisper that Dean barely heard through the door, "I think she's checking herself out… so if you and Palm-ela Hand-erson are done in there, you might want to actually talk to a girl."

Heavy footsteps and the soft thud of the door closing was his signal to leave the bathroom. The first thing he saw upon leaving the safety of the bathroom was Castiel entranced by this new body of hers, inspecting it with a scientific precision.

The gap between the waist-band of Jimmy's briefs – _seriously, Novak? Briefs?_ – and the bottom hem of the black tee left a band of bared skin visible. Soft, pale skin.

The hunter almost squeaked when he saw those two dimples of Venus peeking out from above the elastic of the very unique burnt-orange briefs. He managed to save face with a very fake clearing of the throat.

She turned around and tilted her head, her eyebrow raised, "Dean. Are you okay?"

He stared, wide-eyed, and froze. "Um. Yeah, I'm fine. Fine."

She calmly walked up to the gawking hunter and invaded his personal space, looking up into his eyes with an intensity that was so familiar to him, "Dean."

He could feel her breath on him; could feel the heat from her body against his. He frowned slightly, maybe Sam was right. He took one last deep breath before he charged forward, bringing his lips against Castiel's soft ones.

Almost immediately, shame overtook him and he pulled away. "God – I'm sorry, Cas. I –"

But the dark-haired Angel took his face in her smooth hands and pulled his lips to hers again. This time, the kiss was allowed to deepen.

The hunter lifted the much lighter Angel and she wrapped her long legs around his waist to hold herself up as the calloused fingers tangled themselves into her wavy hair.

Dean groaned against her skin as she pulled them closer together. He let out an out-of-breath laugh, "Christ, Cas. You sure are more fun as a girl."

She growled and pushed hard at his muscular chest. As they fell back onto the squeaky motel bed, Dean was reminded that – girl or not – this was an Angel of the Lord who was much stronger than he.

Once his back hit the bed-linens he laughed as she straddled his waist.

"Seriously, I'm not complaining but, dang, two-thousand year old virgin."

The sarcastic and teasing comments ceased when the Led Zeppelin shirt flew across the room.

Dean, realizing that he was overdressed for the occasion, followed Castiel's lead – discarding his clothing readily for a romp in the sack with an aroused Angel.

He paused before beginning and his green eyes flickered with doubt. "Cas, are you sure you want – I mean, Hell, when I took you to the girls at the brothel you didn't seem very keen to –"

She let out an exasperated sigh and brought her face mere millimeters from his ear. Her breath was hot against his skin. "Did you ever consider the possibility that I didn't want any of those girls because I've always wanted you, Dean?"

He did not even have the time for a proper response when she dragged her teeth along his earlobe, touching the skin just enough to make him shiver.

Sam came back to the motel to find Jimmy Novak's dark blue tie knotted to the doorknob. It took him a second to realize the implications of this sign – but, when he did, all he could do was smile.

_Took you guys long enough._


	4. The NotSoRighteous Man

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…**

**SPN Crack:**

**Pairing: **Dean/Castiel

**Rating: **PG-13

**Setting: **In between 5.08 ("Changing Channels") and 5.09 ("The Real Ghostbusters")

Heaven was room 5 of the Blue Belle Suites that afternoon.

Dean found himself tangled in floral bed-sheets with a very naked, very female Castiel – who was burrowed into his side like a kitten. Her hair was more of a mess than usual and a thoroughly satisfied smile seemed to be permanently fixed on her face. His hand caressed her bare back absentmindedly and he leaned against the headboard.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and innocent, "Dean, I –"

He put a finger to his lips, making an audible "shh" before he winked, "No chick-flick moments, remember?"

She smiled, covering herself with the gaudy linens, "Of course. No chick-flick moments."

Sam's heavy pounding on the door was what finally got Dean out of bed and back into his pants.

The younger hunter was standing at the door, Bobby behind him, when Dean got around to opening the door. Neither man looked particularly happy as the cocky man finished buttoning his shirt.

Bobby shot an agitated look at the elder Winchester as he rolled in, removing his dirty old ball-cap, "I haul-ass to get here in less than five hours, only to have to wait outside this disgusting rat-trap cuz you and the Angel are engaging in some less-than-Holy acts…"

Sam snickered as he added, under his breath, "Well there was a lot of 'Oh God' being yelled…"

Castiel got out of bed and approached the other hunters, the sheets wrapped around her to keep whatever modesty she had left. "Bobby, Sam. I apologize for our indiscretions."

Bobby let out a chuckle at her embarrassment, "The Angel would apologize for having sex."

Dean laughed nervously, taking her by the shoulders and leading her to the bathroom, "Come on – we should get you outta this toga and back into some clothes."

Sam corrected his brother, "Actually togas are for men – Cas would be wearing a stola. But, really Dean, it isn't like your old Zeppelin shirt is much better in terms of clothing."

The old man nodded, "Probably best if we just fix Cas and get on with it. In case you boys've forgotten, we've got bigger fish to fry. Namely, Luci."

Both Winchesters got red in the face at being called out on the fact that there was an apocalypse looming over their heads and they were freaking out about some hex.

The woman sat down on the edge of the bed, still drowning in ugly floral sheets, "I wish I could remember more about the spell – honestly, I don't remember anything past walking into the den."

Dean sat beside her and put his arm around her, holding her close and trying to comfort her, "It's okay. We'll think of something. Don't you worry – we'll get your body back to the way it was."

Bobby looked up at Sam and whispered, "Is this how he's been the whole time?"

The taller man nodded, his face showing his discomfort at the situation, "Yeah. It's kind of nauseating. I mean, it's still Cas – just in different packaging."

Dean snapped, "Hey – chatty Cathies, you guys wanna get a plan going to figure out how to change Cas back into a guy?"

They both looked to each other for support before sighing. Sam grabbed his laptop and Bobby grumbled something about "idjits".

Sam pulled up a database of old magic and his brows knitted together, "I remember you said '_rasheh_' to the witch."

Castiel immediately perked up, a glow on her face, "That's Hebrew! I called her an 'evil one' – '_rasheh_' means 'evil one'."

Dean's face scrunched up and he said, "What about checking the library – trying to find any old books that might not be online?"

The two hunters shrugged. Bobby gave Dean the stink-eye, "That could work… Can we trust you to not kill yourself or get into too much trouble if we leave you with Cas and try to find who this witch is?"

The womanizer smirked and held up three fingers, "I swear!"

Sam rolled his eyes, grabbing his jacket and his laptop as he made his way to the door, "Dean, you weren't even in Boy Scouts."

He only smiled wider as he ushered his brother and Bobby out of the motel room. They would be in the library for a few hours, at least, and that meant he would be alone with a beautiful naked Angel for a few hours. _Oh, the possibilities…_

The two responsible hunters took Bobby's Chevelle to the local public library and immediately began to peruse the sections on Biblical lore and Judaism.

Bobby had his nose buried in some book on the monsters of Jewish legend – complete with a golem on the cover. He flipped through the pages of vibrantly colored illustrations.

"Hmm… Think the witch could be a dybbuk?"

Sam narrowed his eyes, thinking about the possibility. "A dybbuk? Isn't that a Jewish demon?"

The older man nodded, smoothing out the page with the dybbuk, "A dybbuk is an evil spirit – like a demon – that possesses the dead who have not been properly laid to rest. Maybe this is a dybbuk who's wearing Karen Garnet as a party dress for Lucifer's big bash?"

The Winchester boy frowned, "I don't think she's a dybbuk in a meatsuit, Bobby. I mean, I'm pretty sure I would've known if she was some kind of demon." After saying that, his cheeks grew warm and he knew he was as red as a fire engine.

But, instead of berating the younger man, the grumpy old hunter gave an understanding nod and went back to the book, "Well… if it's not a dybbuk, maybe she's a mazikeen."

Sam craned his neck, trying to see the entry in the book, "What's a mazikeen?"

This was met with a grumble that sounded like "These kids don't know anything about Jewish legends anymore…"

The old man cleared his throat and explained, "A mazikeen is an invisible spirit – like a demon, but a little different – who creates annoyances and mischief."

Back in the motel room, Dean was making his move on Castiel for the second time. He even surprised himself; usually he was not one to bounce back so soon after the kind of afternoon he just had.

He scooted across the bed and smiled, "Hey."

This was met with Castiel looking up from the television screen – which was playing a rerun of Dr. Sexy, M.D. – and staring into his eyes, as though she could see into his soul. In fact, Dean was almost positive that the Angel could.

"Hello, Dean."

The awkward attempt to instigate a second rendezvous was put to a stop when Castiel's cellphone rang. It was Sam.

"Hello?"

Dean fumbled for the remote and hit the mute button.

"Hey, Cas. I think I remembered something else that witch said. It sounded sorta like 'bolly', as in 'Bollywood'. Does that mean anything to you?"

The Angel nodded, absentmindedly tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "Yes. You probably heard the word '_baali_'. '_Baali_' means 'my lord' or 'my husband'."

Sam let out a weird noise and exclaimed, "Oh! That makes sense. Hmmm… Okay. Thanks, Cas. Bobby and I are gonna be here at the library for at least another hour. I'll call if anything comes up."

Dean snatched the cellphone out of the Angel's hand and tossed it across the room, where it landed on the other bed. "No more interruptions."

Her lip twitched and she let out a soft chuckle, "The Righteous Man has a taste for Angel, does he? Not very righteous, if you ask me…"

The hunter smiled, leaning forward to kiss her neck, "I told you I wasn't righteous… It was Chuckles and the rest of your Halo Brigade that decided that."

She pulled him down on top of her, pulling off the shirt she had only just put back on. "I never said I had a problem with your Angel kink, Dean."

His voice lowered to a sexy purr, "Oh, believe me. It's not an Angel kink."

Dean flipped them over, with his Angel straddling his waist. He looked up at her, admiring her body, and growled lustfully as her nails gently scraped down his torso. Their bodies began to move in time. But, just when things were getting good, the familiar sound of Angel wings flapping came from beside the bed.

Dean was taken by surprise when his lover was thrown off of him, hitting the wall across the room. Furious, he pulled the M1911 out from under his pillow, aiming it at the intruder.

When he looked up at the Angelic trespasser, he let out a gasp.

"Castiel?"


	5. Sisters, Wives, SisterWives?

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…**

**SPN Crack:**

**Pairing: **Dean/Castiel

**Rating: **PG-13

**Setting: **In between 5.08 ("Changing Channels") and 5.09 ("The Real Ghostbusters")

The trenchcoat-wearing Angel gave a faint smile. "Dean."

The hunter's green eyes darted from the girl on the floor to the Jimmy Novak look-alike, baffled beyond all belief. "What's going on? How do I know this isn't some sick prank?"

He kept his pistol trained on the intruder's chest.

There was a clap of thunder and the room grew dark as Angel let the shadows of his wings be seen. Just like that night in the barn, when they met face-to-face.

They were interrupted, though, when the woman regained consciousness. She slowly made it back to her feet and Dean was very confused to see that she had clothes now – not his Led Zeppelin shirt from earlier, but black leather pants and a bustier-style top to match.

The dark-haired woman smiled and looked to the two men. "Castiel. I am so glad you made it back. To be honest, I didn't think it would take you that long to free yourself. But that's fine." She cast a sidelong glance at the very naked Dean and winked, "I've kept busy."

The male Angel – Castiel? – narrowed his eyes, "Sister."

Dean rolled his eyes, a little upset with this family reunion he was not sure he wanted to be a part of, "Would either of you two mind telling me what the Hell is going on?"

Somewhere in the Theology section of Oskaloosa Public Library, Sam and Bobby continued to exhaust every possible resource in their search to find out just who this witch was and how to get Castiel back into the visage of James Novak.

Bobby was surrounded by stacks of photocopied magazine articles as his fingers clicked away at the keyboard of the trusty old laptop. Even the taller-than-average Sam was drowning in the sea of fifty-year-old religious textbooks that he had created around the table.

The old man nudged Sam with his elbow, "Look at this – the four Angels of Sacred Prostitution. Says here these are basically the mothers of demons…"

Sam hunched over Bobby's shoulder, looking at the computer screen, "Lilith and her three sisters were Angels?"

"Looks that way…" was the only reply as Bobby scrolled through another webpage about Biblical Era Jewish lore.

The scene playing out in the Blue Belle Suites was possibly one of the most awkward moments of Dean Winchester's life.

The tall dark-haired woman with those killer eyes smiled, "Hello, Righteous Man. Allow me to introduce myself properly. My name is Agrat Bat Mahlat. I was once among the Host of Heaven's Angels. You knew my sister – Lilith."

The hunter tensed at the mention of the demon. "You're a demon? How?"

Her eyes lit up at the sound of Angel wings fluttering, which heralded the arrival of two other beautiful and mysterious women. "Sisters. Dean, these are my sisters –"

She gestured to the first woman – a tall woman with collar-length red-brown hair. "This is Naamah. Sister, this is Dean Winchester – the Michael Sword."

Naamah smirked as she sauntered over to Dean's bedside, wearing a slinky little black dress and some shiny gold gladiator sandals. He shuddered as she made love to him with her eyes, feeling way too uncomfortable with this situation to enjoy it, "Oh, Aggie, you hit the jackpot. He's very easy on the eyes."

The trenchcoat-clad Angel cleared his throat. The three sisters turned to see the furious warrior of Heaven glaring at them as though he were about to smite them with a single thought.

Agrat Bat Mahlat swatted her sister away from the very naked man in the motel bed. "And my other sister, Eisheth."

Dean looked over to the other woman, who was smaller-framed with large blue eyes. She smiled sweetly, turning a lock of her blonde hair around her finger. Her voice was soft and purely Sussex, "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Michael Sword."

The hunter could not stop himself from winking seductively at the three beautiful women, "So, who are you gals?"

They all exchanged knowing glances and Naamah smirked, "Eisheth and I are here to tell Aggie that our husband is already planning his victory."

Dean raised his eyebrow, staring at Agrat Bat Mahlat in disbelief, "Husband? I – We – You're married? Oh, Hell…"

She gave him a wicked smile, reaching out to caress his face with the tips of her fingernails, "Oh. You didn't know? Shame, I would've thought you'd have heard of me and my family… You know my little brother, Castiel."

The naked man felt his ears burn with embarrassment at the mention of Castiel's name, "Cas? Wait – you're all Angels?"

Castiel cleared his throat, his familiar gravelly voice a welcome sound for Dean, "They're Fallen. They were among the first to Fall with our brother Samael."

Eisheth laughed at Dean's bemused face, "You might know Samael by his other name – _Lucifer_."

His face paled and his eyes tripled in size, "I slept with the Devil's wife?"

Naamah added in her two cents, "One of his wives. Oh, and she's Lust's mother, too. You know – Asmodeus."

Dean's head was spinning, "Wait – what?"

Back at the library, Sam Winchester had a moment of realization. He grabbed Bobby's shoulder and spun the old man's wheelchair around to face him, "Oh God. Bobby, I know what happened!"

He ran off without waiting for a response, leaving Bobby to roll off behind him, yelling, "Sam! What are you talking about? What're we dealing with?"

But, while the Fallen Angels were toying with the hunter, Castiel took this as his chance to destroy the threat of his sisters attacking. He drew his blade and quickly sent it through Eisheth's chest.

Her face went slack with shock and the remnants of her Grace sparked in her eyes as she collapsed to the floor – the faint outline of wings fanned out on either side of her dead body.

Agrat Bat Mahlat shrieked, lunging for Castiel and throwing him to the floor.

Dean, despite his hesitancy to fight naked, jumped at Naamah and knocked her down beside her fallen sister. He grabbed the Angel blade from Eisheth's chest and pulled it out, throwing it to Castiel.

The dark-haired Angel caught it just as Agrat Bat Mahlat wrapped her long fingers around his throat and he drove the blade down through her back. He watched as the spark left her eyes and she collapsed on top of him.

Dean looked over his shoulder, holding the sheets around his waist to protect the remnants of his dignity, "Cas?"

Agrat Bat Mahlat's body rolled off of the ruffled Angel and he gave a little shiver.

Naamah took this distraction to be her opening and she struck Dean with a powerful blow to the side of his face. "Don't get distracted by a pretty face, kid. Could get you killed."

Castiel, still armed with his Angelic blade, began to circle his Fallen sister. He remained silent, only glaring at her.

She opened her mouth, most likely to make a smarmy comment, and that is when Castiel took the opportunity to chuck the heavenly weapon into her chest. She sunk to her knees, trying to pull the blade out as she gasped.

He made his way towards her and withdrew his sword. The light of her Grace dimmed and she fell forward, the outline of her wings visible around her.

He sighed heavily, looking at his three slain sisters, and muttered a prayer – hoping the Holy Father could hear his words. Then he turned to the unconscious Dean Winchester and shook him to consciousness. "Dean."

Dean looked up, his eyes blinking furiously as he tried to clear his hazy vision. "Cas? Mind telling me what the Hell just happened?"

The Angel nodded, "As you might have realized, the so-called witch you and Sam were hunting wasn't a witch."

The hunter scoffed, "Oh really? Never woulda guessed."

But a deadly serious stare shut him up as Castiel continued, "No. She was an Angel. One of the Fallen who abandoned Heaven with Samael – Lucifer – in the beginning. Agrat Bat Mahlat, the one you were with when I arrived, was the mother of Asmodeus. She is called the Daughter of Deception."

Dean felt his face grow warm and he nodded to the other two bodies, "What about the others… Naamah and Eisheth?"

The dark-haired man sighed, "Naamah was the one who tempted Azazel into Falling. And Eisheth is known as the mother of prostitution."

The hunter sighed, scratching the back of his neck nervously, "Geez. So you just killed three of Lucifer's girlfriends?"

Castiel cast him a very angry look, "I just killed three of my sisters. Fallen or not, they were my sisters, Dean."

He nodded, feeling very uncomfortable. He sat on the squeaky motel bed – sheets still awkwardly wrapped around his hips – and twiddled his thumbs.

When he looked back up, the bodies were gone.

Castiel let out a sigh, explaining, "I still have enough of my powers to send them away. We can't risk anymore police intervention with you and Sam."

Dean got up and grabbed his clothes, hastily slipping into his pants while Castiel brooded by the window. Then he turned back to the Angel, "Cas… What happened to you?"

Just then, Sam burst through the door with Bobby rolling in behind him. He looked around the motel and saw his brother and Castiel were no worse for wear.

The elder Winchester raised an eyebrow, "You okay, Sam-bo?"


	6. Chick Flick Moment

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…**

**SPN Crack:**

**Pairing: **Dean/Castiel

**Rating: **PG-13

**Setting: **In between 5.08 ("Changing Channels") and 5.09 ("The Real Ghostbusters")

Sam let out a heavy sigh, closing the door behind Bobby, "I – Bobby and I – We figured out what happened. The Angels of Sacred Prostitution."

Castiel nodded, looking more haggard than usual, "The brides of Lucifer have been dealt with."

Bobby raised an eyebrow, "Dealt with?"

Dean and Castiel snapped in unison, visibly irritated. "Yes, dealt with."

The paralyzed hunter shook his head, adjusting his ball-cap, "Okay. Fine. What I don't understand is, if this imposter is the mother of a demon – especially a head-honcho like Asmodeus – then how come she didn't sizzle or flinch or something when the boys said 'Cristo' or brought out any salt?"

The elder Winchester looked up, intrigued. Bobby did have a good point.

The Angel's shoulders heaved and the hunters would have sworn it was almost a silent sob. But he sat up and explained, "Agrat Bat Mahlat, mother to Lust, was an Angel and also sister of Lilith, Naamah and Eisheth. Those four earned their title of 'Sacred Prostitutes' when they seduced Adam – and later King David. They Fell with our brother Samael – Lucifer – and, with him, they became the forebears of the demons. So they were not actually demons. They were still Angels. This is why my blade smote them."

The three hunters looked at their hands, trying to ignore the uncomfortable vibe they were getting from the Angel. They all felt the guilt and the shame from knowing he had killed his siblings to save them.

Dean twitched with the need to send his brother and Bobby away and give Castiel some space.

Sam seemed to sense his brother's desires to cause him great physical harm. The taller hunter rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet before he cleared his throat nervously.

"Hey, Bobby. Let's go grab some food. I'm sure everyone here needs some food and, more than likely, a few beers."

Bobby looked up at the gargantuan man and seemed to understand the hidden meaning behind his desire to leave the motel room in a hasty fashion. "Yeah, sure. I'll go with you."

Sam rolled Bobby out of the room and locked the door behind them.

But Dean and Castiel sat in silence for a while, staring at their shoes.

Castiel stood, "Your brother left us hoping that we would talk."

The humiliated hunter nodded. "Yeah, I was hoping we could just sweep this whole situation under the rug and forget it ever happened."

The Angel looked down, his face looking like a kicked puppy. "Dean, I'm sorry."

The human looked up at him, tilting his head, "What've you got to be sorry for, Cas?"

A light blush touched Castiel's cheeks and, under any other circumstances, Dean would have teased him to no end. But it just seemed in poor taste at the moment.

"This was my fault, Dean. I'm the reason the wives got to you."

Dean scoffed, "Dude. You went down to that basement to fight off a witch and got blindsided when she turned out to be one of your big sisters. Not your fault."

Castiel looked up at him, his eyes hardened and serious, "Dean. The reason she got to me is because she played on our weaknesses. She saw where our guards were faulty and she used that knowledge to get through me. She could have killed you or brought Sam to Lucifer."

The hunter snapped, "Don't you think I know that? Yeah, I get it. We both screwed the pooch big time. Hell, maybe I messed up worse – because if I were Lucifer, I would be pissed if someone screwed my girlfriend. But, the point is, we made it out in one piece."

The Angel shook his head, "Dean – Agrat Bat Mahlat took the bond we share and marred it. She took something that was pure and precious and turned it into something cheap and tawdry."

His charge sat up with a start as a realization dawned on him. "Whoa – wait, Cas. Listen, the only reason I –" He let out an exasperated breath.

_How do you explain to an Angel of the Lord that the only reason you slept with the Devil's wife is because she was pretending to be him?_

Dean watched as Castiel sat down beside him on the bed. He sighed, "Cas – What happened with me and whatever-her-name was all on me. Kay?"

He reached over and squeezed Castiel's hand for a split-second, before pulling away because that was just too chick-flick. _Holding hands with an Angel._

The Angel looked up at him, confusion on his face as he tried to read the hunter's face.

Dean opened his mouth, about to embarrass the Hell out of himself by explaining what happened with Agrat Bat Mahlat. But the phone in his pocket chirped.

It was Sam.

He answered, "Hey Sammy."

Sam's voice was panicked, "Dean. I just got a text from Chuck Shurley. He says there's some sort of life and death situation going on."

Dean's eyes widened and he started crammed their things back into their duffels. "Gotcha – you still with Bobby?"

The younger hunter nodded, "Yeah – we're at that burger stand a couple blocks from the motel."

Giving the Angel an apologetic look, Dean slung the duffels over each shoulder and headed out the door, "I'll come pick you up. I'm headed out right now."

Castiel knew that the cleaning services would be coming any minute now to prepare the room for any new occupants, but he lingered for a moment.

It was his fault – he should not have been so careless on this mission. He had put the Winchesters in danger and he was beside himself for it.

What did Dean mean when he said the blame was his?

And what significance did that brief squeeze of the hand have?

Castiel fled the empty motel room, still feeling the ghost-like tingle of Dean's hand on his and wondering what it all meant.

_**HEBREW TRANSLATIONS**_

_**Baali, tuchal la'azor li?**_** (My husband, can you help me?)**

_**Rasheh**_** (Evil one)**

_**Chaval al hazman. **_**(Don't waste your time.)**

_**Gam zu letovah, achi**_** (This is for the best, brother)**

_**Atah lo tzodek!**_** (You are wrong!)**

_**Ma hashem shelcha, ha-qodesh?**_** (What is your name, Holy One?)**

_**Shmi Castiel. **_**(My name is Castiel.)**

_**Ma hashem shelcha, Lilin?**_** (What is your name, Lilin?)**

_**Baal midot tovot. **_**(Righteous man.)**

_**Ein somchin al haness.**_** (Don't rely on miracles)**

_**Shalom **_**(Goodbye) **

_**Lehitra'ot, achi **_**(See you later, brother)**

_**Histalek!**_** (Go away!)**


End file.
